Not lying, I've never used Linux. I'm just so very fascinated by unix scrots so I decided to join. I rice Windows a bit though. Thinking of getting #! or Archbang as a starting distro.
That's all.

Welcome, don't let our experience scare you, we all started somewhere. Join IRC and we'll be happy to help!

Welcome, and remember we're not only about ricing ;)

#! is a great place to start. A lot of people actually never switch off of it because they like it so much.

welcome.

Crunchbang is definitely a nice starting place. I recommend you go to the ArchLinux Wiki and bookmark the articles on OpenBox, Conky, and Tint2, as they have quite a bit of information about configuration options and such, and definitely check out sites like http://dotshare.it if you wanna see some amazing configs for inspiration (and plagiarism, as it were)

Good luck!