Good evening gentlemen,

In life, we all face different struggles, tragedies, and horrors. As I grow older, I discover that I find strength in what I love. This can be a person, place, or thing. For example, when my cat died, I played Warhawk on the PS3 to comfort myself. When I ran out of chocolate milk for the firs time and realized that there isn't an unlimited supply of the sweet life nectar, I jerked it to midget porn, which is something I love.

However, as I grow older, I also realize that my problems grow as well. To cope with this fact, I find myself depending upon what I love more and more. One thing I've noticed, is that my Unicomp keyboard is a good source of motivation and comfort when I'm feeling down.

Girl said no to a date because you're a weak ass ugly fuck?

Use your Unicomp.

Failed Calculus 2 because you were too busy finding excuses to use your Unicomp?

Use your Unicomp.


Getting older and still have done anything with your life?

Use your Unicomp.

Believe in God?

Use your Unicomp.

Don't believe in God?

Use your Unicomp.

Use your Unicomp?

Use your Unicomp.


I'm conducting scientific research to understand why the Unicomp increases wellbeing almost 10 fold. I have the most prestigious people with letters after their name from a bunch of rich ass schools that look like theyre from the 1700s. It is a fascinating phenomenon. A... uninomenon if you will. I'm looking forward to sharing my results with you fine gentlemen.

Have a damn good unicomp day.

Should I merge this thread with this one?

ARE YOU INSULTING OUR LORD AND SAVIOR THE UNICOMP KEYBOARD BY IMPLYING THAT ITS SOME TYPE OF PETTY "UNIX MEME"?!!??!?!? HOW DARE YE! HOW. DARE. YE.


THE CLICKITY CLACK OF MY BUCKLING SPRING IS DISGUSTED BY YOUR INEPT ABILITY TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE POWERFUL BEING THAT IS THE UNICOMP KEYBOARD MY GOOD SIR.


GOOD UNICOMP DAY.


I SAID GOOD UNICOMP DAY.

Well, you asked for it.

Am I allowed to ask whether our dear fellow dsplayer14 was banned?

I am just curious.

I think he was, but on the 3rd day he rose again and the stone of his ban rolled away
and he showed us the holes in his hands where the keys from his unicomp had pierced the flesh

And he said,

"Take this, all of you who clack it, and click from it, for this is my keyboard. Clickity clack on this and you shall feel mechanical life"

And the congregation said, so clearly,

"FUCK YEAH WE LOVE UNICOMPS"

Let us pray to our lord and savior venam.

It's good to be back.

And the unicomp, which rises from the sea, will overcome them and will kill them.

And in the darkness, bind them.

For neither can live, while the other survives.