Could I be a moderator please? I looked around but couldn't find anywhere to submit an application. I'm suitable for a moderator position because of my excellent communication and management skills. I was nearly allowed to be a moderator on another forum once, if that counts towards my cause. If an admin could just shoot me an email sometime, that'd be great—thanks.

Right, I also know some basic Unix commands like "echo", "netcat", "type", "cd", and "fork"...

I haven't used a forum in a long time. I used to love forums—joining forums, running forums, designing forums, imagining forums, you name it—maybe I still will enjoy forums. I don't want to bring up any grudges, but nobody would ever let me be a moderator. I can't figure out why, certainly not why anybody would pick Zamurick over me! I woulda moderated the hell outta that forum, too... I'm moderator material through and through. You've gotta believe me, serious as a shock-induced heart attack when I'm alone in the dark, scary, cold forest with nothing but my perpetual longing for the responsibility of a moderator position on a medium-sized forum of relevant interest... In the forest, hunting trolls and flamers (who pose a threat to a certain bear) and spammers and being so deeply alone with nothing but the century old anchors of lives so much more meaningful than my own. There is a creak, a rustle, one more forum to have my devices with, foreboding something unfulfilling, so satisfying—a forum following all the right distributions, a forum which I can surely call home and escape this dreary, freezing anathema of hell.


I'm tired, it's relatively late. Not trolling, dry humor. Been using *nix systems for a few years, programming for a few years—C, Java, PHP (revolting!), JavaScript which is not at all related to Java (if that gives me any credibility here seeing that it's a common misconception), poking around in a few other languages, which is really insignificant... Some web design, graphic design—Minecraft lately, a real killer. I also like to cook, read, and appreciate nature from behind a window.

I'm an elite hacker and I'm glad to meet you all.

EDIT: I take myself very seriously.